Scooting the Stress!

Dislaimer: I came accross the following on the net. They aren’t mine,but i thougt it’d be lovely to share it with all.

Stress Reliever #1
    Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
    Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
    your picture and the problem disappears.
    Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
    Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other
    problem can there be greater than this one?"

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    Stress Reliever # 2
    Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
    and lighten your burden.
    Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or
    troubles.
    Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

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    Stress Reliever # 3
    Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
    give up my seat to a lady.
    Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
    Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

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    Stress Reliever # 4
    Wife to husband: "What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of
    the night?"
    Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
    Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
    Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

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    Stress Reliever # 5
    Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
    Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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    Stress Reliever # 6
    A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
    "My father grows beans," said one student.
    "My father cooks beans," said another.
    Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

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    Stress Reliever # 7
    Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a
    millionaire to?"
    Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
    Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
    married her?"
    Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

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    Stress Reliever # 8
    Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
    The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

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    Stress Reliever # 9
    A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
    He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.

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    Stress Reliever # 10
    Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I’m the first man you are
    sleeping with?
    Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

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    Stress Reliever # 11
    Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
    Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.

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    Stress Reliever # 12
    A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty
    face
    or my sexy body?
    He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of
    humour.

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    Stress Reliever # 13
    Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are
    you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
    Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

One Response to “Scooting the Stress!”

  1. Irma Says:

    hahahahahaahaha hillarious!!!

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